


teardrops on roses

by orphan_account



Category: NCT, NCT 127 - Fandom, NCT Dream
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:09:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26317714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Mark Lee, Jaemin’s best friend auditions for a company, and gets in much to Jaemin’s dismay.“That was the first time Jaemin had ever gone out his window, the first time he snuck out, the first time he climbed down a tree and the first time he realized he liked Mark. They had listened to mozart in the car, and Mark told him all about his life, everything from his family, his past and his future.”
Relationships: Markmin - Relationship
Comments: 3
Kudos: 16





	teardrops on roses

**Author's Note:**

> my newest fic is based off me and my ibf’s friendship!! she wants to audition for a company and i know i’ll miss her a lot when she leaves. so this is based off that :) hope you enjoy!!

The way Mark’s face lit up when he talked about auditioning, it made Jaemin fill with such joy. Mark had always been so driven to become an idol and with his talents it was no surprise to Jaemin when Mark had told him his audition was in a couple weeks.

However something held Jaemin back. He wanted to be happy for Mark, he really did, and he was in a way but he couldn’t stop thinking about how selfish his thoughts were. 

Did he really want Mark to leave? His best friend, the person who’s been there for him since day one, the only one who could ever understand, leaving? Those selfish thoughts were like a weight on his back that constantly got heavier. He was happy for Mark, he was glad Mark finally would be one step closer to achieving his dream.

On the other hand he felt sick, almost a nauseous feeling whenever Mark mentioned the audition. Of course he was happy for Mark, he was proud of him for finally gaining enough courage to audition, but the selfish thoughts would continue to return.

Jaemin grumbled. “This isn’t fair. Nothing is fair. Of course I want Mark to be happy, but...I don’t want him to leave.”

If Mark got into the company, he would leave and go to the other side of the world. He would have to leave his entire life behind, all his friends, family, and Jaemin. Everything he worked hard to build, now having to go and restart everything. 

The side of Jaemin’s pillow was wet with tears. He had buried his face into the pillow so as to not alert anyone else in the house that he was crying. Classical music played in the background, a reminder of the first night he broke the rules for Mark Lee. 

It was two years ago, right before the end of their senior year. Mark had somehow convinced him to sneak out. “You have to go! Everyone is going since it’s our graduation!” Mark was so eager for him to attend, he couldn’t say no to his best friend.

That was the first time Jaemin had ever gone out his window, the first time he snuck out, the first time he climbed down a tree and the first time he realized he liked Mark. They had listened to mozart in the car, and Mark told him all about his life, everything from his family, his past and his future. 

Mark was intoxicating. His aura was pure, innocent, sweet, but it entranced Jaemin. He could never reveal the crush he had on Mark, never in a million light years would he ever tell Mark he liked him. Not when Mark made it clear he wasn’t into guys. 

Yet Jaemin kept coming back for more of Mark. Breaking rules, sneaking out, following everything Mark did, it changed him. His friends noticed it first, but none of them could deny how obnoxiously in love he was. That wouldn’t change how Jaemin was though, and it wouldn’t change when Mark left.

Even if Mark did get into the company, Jaem could never hate him, or dislike him, or be mad at him. Mark was following his dream and Jaemin should be happy for him. Though a small glimmer of hope somehow stayed present in his mind when he thought of Mark not making it. 

That hope was quickly dismissed when Mark came to his house three weeks later. Jaemin didn’t realize what was coming, he was hoping it was Mark needing comforting, because he didn’t get in. Unfortunately it wasn’t anything he hoped.

“I got in!”

Pain, anger, distress, alarm, all filled the poor boy’s heart at once. Mark didn’t even realize how much those three words affected Jaemin. Those three words would now change their lives forever.

Days passed quickly. It felt like minutes, and every minute that passed made it feel like Mark was fading more and more away. Mark was leaving at the end of the week. He would be gone, and he wouldn’t come back. Not until he was at least an idol, even then it wouldn’t be possible for Mark to come out to their tiny city.

Jaemin cried, he cried longer, and harder, and when he was done crying he cried more. It felt harder to wake up, hoping every day it was a dream. Mark wasn’t leaving. Mark wasn’t going away forever.

Time seemed to stop for Jaemin, and he didn’t realize that Mark was leaving that afternoon. Jaemin had woken up late and he didn’t even realize. He would miss his best friend’s departure, he would never see him again if he didn’t hurry. 

City lights, honking horns, the blaring music, nothing could stop Jaemin now. He wasn’t about to miss this, not again would he let another person walk out of his life without him getting to say goodbye.

He didn’t even bother locking the car. Jaemin bolted up the stairs of the train station. Desperately he looked around for the red hoodie he had bought Mark last christmas. It was his favorite and it was something that had brought Mark reassurance throughout the year.

“Mark!”

The train stopped and Mark had just heard Jaemin. The train wouldn’t wait forever and he knew Jaemin would never make it. As he made eye contact with Jaemin, the train doors began closing.

“Mark wait!”

Mark closed his eyes and stepped onto the train, not getting to hear Jaemin’s pleas for him to stop. The doors had shut and the train started moving. Jaemin froze in his spot.

“Mark you bastard I’m in love with you.” 

He whispered it, watching as the train passed by him. Mark didn’t even bother looking out the window. Lee, fucking Lee. Jaemin tightened his fists, throwing them into his pockets. “Fuck you Lee.”

Jaemin’s life after that didn’t change. He never moved and stayed in that town to care for his mother. At times he wondered what Mark was doing. That day would always be etched into his memory, but he could never hate Mark.

No one could, Mark was such a good guy and it wasn’t fair that that had to be their last moments. It was Jaemin or his dream, and the dream came first. He wasn’t upset anymore, Jaemin had passed on.

However when he saw Mark on tv for the first time, he couldn’t help but be proud. Mark shined, he was a star, and all of Jaemin’s selfish thoughts became like an illusion. They weren’t real, because Mark was happy. That’s all Jaemin truly ever wanted. For see Mark to be happy, and he was. 

Mark was holding a fanmeet, him and his group were. Jaemin had kept up with the group for a while but Mark still had always been the one he loved. The fanmeet was being held in a city near Jaemin and he wasn’t going to hesitate to buy tickets.

One thing Jaemin didn’t regret was buying the tickets, but the lines were horrible and it was almost strange how weird these fan signs were. He couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy when he saw all the girls with their pictures of Mark.

The members were all nice and some of them mentioned to Jaemin that Mark had talked about him a lot. Flurries of butterflies ran through Jaemin’s stomach at the mention of Mark. Mark couldn’t know about how Jaemin still felt after all this time. Hopefully he had forgotten.

Mark, Jaemin had forgotten how beautiful Mark was. He was gorgeous and his hair looked so incredibly fluffy. He looked healthy. He looked like he was happy. Something that back home could never give him. 

When they made eye contact, Mark couldn’t breathe. The tension as they sat still and stared would not pass. Jaemin smiled and pushed the album forward. 

“You don’t hate me?”

“How could I ever hate you? It’s my fault I overslept.”

“Are you happy Jaemin?”

“No, but you are. That’s what matters most.”

Mark gulped. Maybe he hasn’t realized how much he used to affect Jaemin and how Jaemin used to affect him. Unfortunately they were such a young group, Mark was still so young, and his company would never allow it. 

“I missed you.”

“I hoped you did. It feels better knowing you did.”

Suddenly all was quiet until the two of them broke out into tears. Jaemin held in his sobs while Mark couldn’t even cover his mouth. The company didn’t know what to do, and quickly escorted the two backstage where the other staff were.

They wouldn’t stop, and it felt like ages until Mark finally realized that his best friend, the one he’s been missing for years, was right in front of him. Jaemin had stopped crying, and they were only facing each other.

“Jaemin.”

“Mark.”

“I love you.”


End file.
